That Which Lies Beneath the Dust
Examining my inner being, I try to find who I am to be.
Until now I haven’t really been myself
Fulfilling whom others wanted me to be I put who I am up on a shelf.
Dusting off who I truly am, yet scared to show my face
They’ve put me in a box; can they truly accept me in this place?
To trust, be vulnerable, or to love, I tremble at the thought.
In my experience those things can’t be given, only bought.
God help me to see Your true love in others
So I can know how to accept real sisters and brothers.
In the past I have been hurt by man this is true.
But what I fear the most is do I really even trust You?
I want to open up and give You my life, every last part,
That is why I am focusing on dealing with my heart.
I see now that I have hurt others without even trying.
On the outside things look fine, my spirit is grieving, inside I am crying.
Every relationship disappointment in my life, I caused.
Realizing that I reaped what I have sown, I paused.
It’s hard to accept that I single handedly broke my own heart.
I’m my own worst enemy, now seeing the problem I’ll fix that part.
No longer will I look in the mirror with confusion.
I’m allowing God to renew me with His heart transfusion.
The reflection I am beginning to see still isn’t myself, but another.
The image is of the man that lives in me, my big brother.